Day 16 More babysitting

We went to see Max again!!

I put my best fur on for today (black, to make me look thinner). I put black eyeliner around the eyes. For my tail, I made it black and fluffy. I wanted to put green pants, but I don't have any, so I decided to go with black.

I never know how to say hello to him, so I hugged him. I hope he doesn't just see me as a friend...

But then he said I smelled very good today. Thankfully today I am all black, so when I blushed it wasn't visible!

Griffin is gone, but from today LittleMe is staying with us for some days.

LittleMe is quite young, so I decided to teach her how to be a proper little german shepherd.

This is how you act cute for treats! 

List of things to teach her:

• Bark if:

    -you hear something suspicious

    -you hear something not suspicious

    -it is too silent

• Be cute:

    -make the biggest eyes possible

    -put yourself on the floor

    -that's it

• When drinking: 

    -only half the water is good. The other half should be dropped on the floor

    -water tastes better if you drink it as fast as possible

    -shower water is the best, followed by melted snow

• With toys:

Teaching LittleMe how to dissect

    -toys must be dissected to make a pathological statement (my mommy is a vet, she taught me)

    -if toy has squeaker, the squeaker must be dissected first (you don't want the toy to suffer, right?)

    -conclusion of autopsy: the toy likely died from being dissected in the first place

LittleMe also has a slight ear problem: I told her to put them up straight.

This is the best she could do:

Gnnnnn really trying to keep them up!!!

I told her like that it looks like Dobby, the house-elf in Harry Potter. Stef said Molly looks like Dobby.

So mistreated!! Jen said that ;)

We are also babysitting Bella, a little Westie:

Bella, totally invisible in this picture

Bella is white to be camouflaged in the snow.

To improve her camouflage she rolls in the leaves and the mud (and feces?).
Isn't it a genius idea?!

(of course Jen and Stef disagree, as usual parents...)

She is so invisible that I often mistakenly step on her.

Day 15 Back to training

After yesterday's frustration, Jen decided to take it slowly again.
We only walk when I am 100% focused. Which means we barely walk.

It took us 45 min to get around the block (with a 15 min park break in the middle)

Yesterday she said I was spoiled and I couldn't focus, now she is letting me have it my way. Haha fine! I like it better this way! After a while of standing in the same spot I look back at her, and then we move on.

When I'm done I give her the look

First we stopped at Griffin's.

Nickypod, Griffin, Molly, Bella and... me

I like this picture. My friends and I made a pact: each time Jen takes a picture with flash, we activate our laser-eyes. Don't we look so cool?

Then we went to town.
There is this guy who was so rude to us, he just stood there at looked at us without moving the whole time. Jen said his name was "Statue". Quite a stupid name if you ask me...

Mr. Statue

On the main square there was a demonstration. Jen was very happy. She said this is what France looks like 90% of the time. The other 10% they are on strike anyway.

The demonstration was about ACTA, an international agreement to enforce copyright property. Jen said it also infringed people's privacy by allowing governing bodies to put up a surveillance. I didn't understand everything but human people are weird.
Jen has a surveillance on me and you don't see me complaining! Oh wait, I do. Especially in this blog. Oh well   : p

Finally we also went to see Griffin's sister Ayla.

Ayla and I

Jen told me to look at the amazing view of Brno. I told her to look at the amazing view of a stick.

And we both ignored each others requests :)

Day 14 Horrible Jen

Jen does not understand me! Today was such a frustrating day!! All I want to do is have fun with my friends (or ball), and she always ruins everything!

And in the street she is so embarrassing in front of my friends! She dresses all lame, has no sense of fashion whatsoever, doesn't even wear her hat properly. And that's not only it, she makes ME wear little jacket, in a flashy yellow color!! :(
So then I try to walk as if I don't know her. And here comes the worst part: she absolutely INSISTS I walk right next to her by her side! So so embarassing!

I'm trying my best to pretend not to know her...

So then I try to get away, and what does she do?? She makes me stop, and PETS me in front of everyone else! How old does she think I am? I am not a kid anymore!!

Notice her hideaous sock/leg warmer

Thankfully I am the one with the good taste in fashion.

I have a tattoo on my ear and a piercing above my eye and I'm thinking of dying my fear purple, what do you guys think? :)

I wonder if Max would like me better like this

Jen says she hopes my "little adolescent crisis" will end soon. What adolescent crisis? She's the one making all the problems!

Day 13 Little red spots

You want to know what the event of the day was??! What made Jen go crazy?! This little mini spot:

Granted, it HAS been following me all day for some reason: wherever I sit down, when I stand up *puff* it's there! Quite a peculiar stain if you ask me, but nothing to freak over about.

On a totally unrelated note, guys have been rather annoying lately.
It started rather nicely, they all want to play with me and follow me and kiss me... But then now they won't leave me alone. And they are showing off : "Hey Mety, look at me, I'm so strong! I'm so this! I'm so that!".. A couple of them fought over who was the strongest to impress me. Aahh boys :(

Griffin is still nice though. I asked him if he was gay.

Griffin

Female dogs and puppies are fine though. Speaking about that, we often meet this pack of females in the park. All three look like me:

Next week one of the "little me"s is staying at my place. Weeeee!!!


My tummy feels a bit weird. Maybe it's something I ate from under a bush in the park. I went to ask Jen what she thought it was. She got all grumpy and told me "Well deal with it, at least for you it's only twice a year and not once a month!!!"
Oooooh, so she also eats stuff in bushes!!! I don't have to hide it anymore! :)

Jen said we might have to play apport a lot more for 2-3 weeks
I'm quite happy with that!

Day 11 Tesco

Weeeee there is free food all over the ground today!! It's like ice cream everywhere!!

Griffin and I in the garden

 Everyday, Jennifer takes her fur off and goes into a tube where she gets all wet. I don't know why she does it, but all I know is that the water there tastes a lot better than the water in my waterbowl.

Can I have some water please?

Then she puts lots of layers of fur back on. It must be quite a hassle. Every morning I just keep the same fur on. A lot of people compliment me on how I am dressed, so it means black must suit me well. I guess I'll keep it like that :)

Playing with Berry

We went to a big store with a lot of pretty, shiny, -some smelling good, some looking chewy- things. Jennifer didn't eat any of the free ice cream on the floor outside, so we had to buy her food. She really is spoiled!

The place is called Tesco. I figured it's called like that to remind me of all the things I can't do: Touch Eat Sniff Chew Overstress.

This I find relatively easy to do. But because it's always good to bug Jennifer a bit, so I got really hyper on the way out. I pulled and barked for her to hurry. I know she doesn't appreciate that, but it's fun for me anyway!

Look there is an Akce on toys!!

We came back by car. I had to be the copilote, to make sure everything is ok.

Welcome aboard Mety-airlines. We would like to remind you
that smoking is not allowed aboard this vehicule.

Then we went to the guide dog office, where Jen signed a paper concerning me without even reading it properly!

Uh-oh...

Then she laughed "mwahahhahaaa you are now mine!!! I will eat you!!! Grrrrrroaaah!!" and she chased me in the house.
Later tonight I looked at the paper. She doesn't speak czech, but I do. The paper doesn't even say I am hers, quite the opposite. Ooooof, Jennifer won't eat me after all! :)

Day 10 Griffin's sleepover

Day 10

New day, new adventures.

I figured ambulances are not so amazing.

Back in my day, artists had talent. Now they play repetitive rhythms, way too loud for my eardrums. Ah... young people!...

Crappy ambulance.

Jennifer has no tact. Maybe it has to do with her lack of socialization I suspected yesterday. Anyway, when today I didn't sing with the ambulance, Jen was so extremely happy she kept on petting me. Keep your cuddles to yourself, thank you very much :(


I invited my friend Griffin to stay over at my place for a few days.

Playing tug-of-war between beds, notice how lazy we are so we are laying down

Griffin has many toys, which he keeps really tidy.
----Wait, let me rephrase that----
Griffin has many toys, which I like to destroy.

Griffin's toy

Griffin was so happy to be at our place. He told me I was lucky to live in the same room where Juicy Hotdog lives.
"Don't you even think about it!" hissed Stinky Rat, who had overheard the conversation.
"Now now, be good with little Kiwi" said Jen, watching over us.
"No!!! My name is Destructerminator!!!"
Now I am really confused as what to call her...

Stinky Kiwi Hotdogminator

We also went to the park and we met dogs from Jennifer's school. Griffin didn't like so much Tarzan, the ridgeback, so me neither.

Griffin, Tarzan and I

Jennifer likes Tarzan, however her opinion doesn't count because she is biased: she likes all dogs. 

Day 9 The duel with the Colonel

Day 9

This morning, as usual, we went to the park. I love playing with dogs, any dogs! This one dog had a coat on him, so I helped him take it off :)

With Fram

With Maggie

With Ellis and his coat

With Ester

With the gang

Then we went to walk the streets. Jen says it is to do a bit of training, but I know it's for patrolling the city in case there are more evil pigeons.
Sure enough, on the main square we found a bunch of them.

I recognized evil colonel Pigeon from yesterday. "You again!! This city ain't big enough for the two of us!"
All other pigeons left, but he stood his position.

The air was tense.
Not a fly dared cross us.
I knew this was it, the final duel.

Then...

Then Jen just stuffed my mouth with treats and pulled me in the opposite direction!!!!! Nooooooooooo my honor! My city! My credibility!!!
(Well but it was duck treats, my favorite so I reluctantly forgave her) 

Uff humans!! :(


We walked a bit more, in the cold, and I was sulking a bit. But actually we were both doing really good, Jen is walking more properly, so it cheered me up a bit.

Stopping for a street? So easy!!

Jen said we needed more of a challenge. We stopped to think where all the people were. On a Sunday morning... church! We headed over to the Thomas church on Moravske Namesti. Waaaah crowds of people were going in, there must have been a party or something!!

Let's go in!!

I really pulled to get in but Jen didn't let me. I think she lacks socialization, I should take her out more.

Day 7 Encounter with Colonel Pigeon

Day 7

Jennifer is not so good at walking on the steet. She constantly changes direction as if she can't make up her mind. I tried walking in front of her to show her, but every time I do she either stops walking or changes direction again. Poor her, I will try to be patient. I noticed if I walk by her side then we get a bit further. But she is slower than I am, and does a bad k noze, and then she is behind me and the problem starts again with her change of directions. Oh well with time she might get it.

I'm really trying to be patient with Jennifer... but my ears give it away

Today we went to the trainstation. Jennifer didn't understand the point of it. Unstead of taking the train, we just sat down outside on the stairs and watched the people go by. Some people stopped and petted me. Poor Jennifer, no one ever pets her, I hope she doesn't feel too sad.

While we were sitting there, some pigeons dared walk around us. I absolutely needed to tell them to fly away, this was our sidewalk!! But Jennifer held the leash strong so I couldn't go run after them. I really like Jennifer, but sometimes she doesn't understand the importance of things. In any case, I managed to handle the pigeon situation by barking, and the evil pigeons flew off. Jennifer is a bit rude and instead of thanking me, she made me lie down. Ufff she really needs a lot of training!

Evil pigeons

Day 6 Max, the labrador

Day 6

This morning we got up early. It's freezing outside. -17 degrees!! Jennifer took me for a couple hours in the park and complained the whole time about the temperature. If she was running around for balls and sticks then she wouldn't be cold! I hope one day she will learn from me...

This afternoon we went to play with Max, an awesome labrador. He is fast, strong, has a good sense of humor and he's a gentleman. I find him quite charming but I don't want him to know.

There he is, so majestic!

I don't really know how to tell him I kinda like him, so I bite his legs instead. Then I pin him to the floor and wrestle. Close enough, right?

I tried to make a sexy face. This is how it came out.

Day 5 Trip to the forest

Day 5

Jennifer has a new hobby, a very annoying hobby. She has a little box that can make a click sound, and at night it also makes a little flash of light. Ever since she's had it, she clicks on it whenever I do something. Sometimes she stops me, says "Zustan", clicks it and gets happy. Today we went to the forest and I think she took at least fifty zustans. Sometimes I get a little treat after the zustan, so it's okay.

One of the Zustan moments

To get to the forest, we entered a very long car, called a bus. I know buses and I know doors, and I know that when the doors open you are supposed to go through them. Well Jennifer doesn't know that. Every time the door opened, I tried explaining her, but she would just make me go lie down again. Eventually I didn't bother trying to get out, and exactly when I gave up, she got off at the next stop. I think she is just fooling with me.

Ah crap! The door closed again! Now it's too late!

Me annoyed at Jennifer

The forest had a really nice trail. It was quite slippery though. It's not very good for my ligaments, because when I ran I would slip and I couldn't control all of my legs. If only Jennifer was studying animal medicine she would know better, right?!

Jennifer has only two legs, and she was having trouble controlling even only those two. Maybe that's why humans have only two, it's because they are not smart enough to have four.